There’s nothing to remind a gal of how single she is than a big, fat, shiny rock on the finger of a friend/Facebook friend/cousin/sister/that girl on Instagram’s hand.
You want to be happy for them. We pretend to be as we shakingly type out the words “congrats!” on the photograph she posted of her freshly manicured hand, that diamond shimmering in the sun. But why does it feel like this happiness is forced? Like Pheobe and Rachel from Friends felt when Monica and Chandler got engaged, and the girls sat at Central Perk discussing themselves down from being 80 percent happy, 20 percent jealous, to a full cup of jealousy.
Is it because we view ourselves on society’s timeline? The timeline that made us believe we had to go straight from high school to college to getting married to having kids, all before the age of 30. So any diversion from that white-picket fenced line leads us to feel guilt and far behind in life. In some cases, we might even feel “not normal.” What went from us throwing our hands up in the air, dancing to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” led to us signing up for 10 dating sites in one hour, desperate for “The One.”
So, if you find yourself feeling jealous of your newly-engaged friend, here are some tips on how to deal. Let’s get you down to at least 10% jealousy.
Focus on your own grass.
Remember the saying, “the grass is always greener on the other side”? Well, the essence of that is we’re always looking to the other side. We jump to envying others so quickly, all the while forgetting about the positives in our own lives. Just think: That same engaged girl might look at your life and wish she was more like you, single and free to date whoever she’d like. So, take a moment to appreciate your life. Someone else might be envying it from afar.
Maybe things aren’t where you thought they would be, but there’s always time for the other things like marriage, buying a house, kids, etc. Going with the flow of life is way better than getting engaged too soon or to the wrong man.
Use that jealousy as a positive force to make changes in your life.
There’s nothing like five engagements in one week popping up on your Facebook homepage to spur you into action. The choice is yours: drown your sorrows in a bottle of red, or use another person’s life accomplishment as a chance to fuel your own. It’s like when a girl goes through a breakup. Sure, she will be sad and mope for the first couple days or maybe even months. But eventually, she realizes that she deserves better and makes the choice to get on with her life. She gets out of bed, puts the chocolate down, and throws on her running shoes. Maybe she goes on to lose 20 pounds, feel confident and meet an amazing guy.
Stories like those happen all the time. Instead of being jealous, use that energy to do some good and kick your butt in gear to accomplish major milestones of your own. If getting hitched eventually is part of your goals, then figure out a plan to make it happen, all the while still allowing things to happen on their own spontaneously.
Any additional tips you’d like to mention?